I for one am guilty of the latter. While my partner was lost in the haze of love, I was all assessing and thinking. Personally, I feel choked-up in a relationship that is drowned with emotions. I prefer a relationship that can make you think and still be aware of the outside world no matter how crazy in love I am.
Don't get me wrong, I am not one of those dry, boring and devoid of enthusiasm kind of lover. I am far from that. Modesty aside, I am sassy and wispy kind of girlfriend. When I am crazy in love, I am very affectionate. I show a lot of physical endearments but when it comes to saying words like "I love you", "I adore you" and "I'd never hurt you", I am reserved.
Not because I don't feel those for my lover or I would upset my partner but because I want to say it in the perfect moment. It's because when I say those words to him it means that I am already 1000% sure. Those words are very precious. It's a promise. I agree with the recent blog I read "You Are Perfect For Me" by the Datinggodess, she said that we all desire to hear those declarations and would easily say them back because we all want to believe that we are loved or adored or perfect for someone.
But those declarations should be backed up with consistent and congruent actions or else we'll end up frustrated with ourselves for saying something we don't actually mean. And like the Datinggoddes, I learned to be more skeptical. I have learned the value of those words and would only say it only when I can stand up to it.
Like I've said when I am 1000% sure, "cross my heart and hope to die" thing. My beloved was frustrated for a while because it took me almost a year to say those words but after that he was able to understand. And even if I didn't voice out those words, my actions show otherwise.
He specifically said "The signs of true love are being there for each other, being honest and loyal to each other. It's about respect and understanding. Talk is cheap. I'd rather be with someone who shows her love rather than with someone who frequently says it but doesn't back it up." Me either, I thought.
Yes, sometimes we need to hear those endearing words from our lover but it should be in their own time. Besides love is an action word and action matters most than words.
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